Posted by Jon ONeill on at 07:00
A Riotous Roundup

 Hello and welcome to the G4L Tuesday morning news roundup.

Firstly may i offer my apologies if this seems like a disjointed post. You see, As I type, the London i know and love burns to the ground around me. Literally.

I can only listen on and cower as 52inch Plasma 3D televisions and brand new crisp white Nike trainers begin to flood heartily into the ever thriving East London black market, freshly looted Carpet Right luxury rugs are being poorly fitted into flat hallways as the ever growing army of potential Jeremy Kyle guests take control of our streets………

But fear not people, all is not lost.

… see last night, Arsenal made a signing……YAY!

Arsenal last night confirmed the signing of 17 year old Southampton attacking midfielder Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain for an undisclosed fee (Believed to be in the region of £5m up front plus £5m add ons) Feel free to look through some gorgeous, almost mesmeric bare footed pictures of our new man, you wont be disappointed. Personally I think he looks a little bit like housewives favourite Julio Baptista, which worries me a tad.

The signing inspired an article that seemed to spark a bit of a backlash on my Twitter timeline from many Gooners by John Cross over on the Mirror website….And rightly so in my very humble opinion. Whilst the want and demand for a defensive signing is obviously prevalent throughout large sections of the Arsenal community, the feedback on his signing was very positive from what i saw.

Over at the Guardian they are speculating that we have ‘Opened the door’ for Nasris move to Man City with the Oil rich northern monkeys ready to offer him double the 90k we are prepared to pay. Unsurprisingly. They say the player wants the move and a bid of around £25m would be enough to prize him away. Nasri missed the game against Benfica with a ‘Muscular’ injury but has trained and looks set to play for France on Wednesday night. Which is a bit ominous, really.

The Sun meanwhile, have spoken to greatness, AKA Nicky Bendtner and he has confirmed to them he is on his way out of the club. It’s also reported elsewhere that he laughed at the suggestion of a move to Stoke. Which is kind of enough for me to want him to stay with us, really. With wet look hair gel enthusiast Chamakh looking completely out of form during pre-season i have the worrying suspicion that we are letting the wrong man leave the club. I wish Nicky well, not too well, but well nonetheless.

Jack Wilshere has been withdrawn from the England squad for the (if it still goes ahead/if Wembley hasen’t been torn down by rioters  overnight) friendly against Holland on Wednesday night with the ankle injury he sustained during the ill-fated Emirates Cup campaign (BOOOOOOOOOOOO!) Robin Van Persie and Tommy Vermaelen have been called up for international duty despite picking up knocks in the game against Benfica on Saturday night.

Thus concludes this sparse and stuttering roundup of Arsenal news. I am now going to hide underneath my dinner table as the sirens echo into the night. If nobody hears from me by tomorrow please avenge my death by punching Tony Pulis in the face then kicking him swiftly in the balls.

Also follow me on Twitter @JonnyOneill .  Where i will now be doing less football journo bashing as it seems i share that particular hobby with Joey Barton. Yuck.

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